Two Myths and a Truth: Wedding Edition - Part 3
Back again for round 3 of answering some of those questions that you may be wondering if they are wedding “myths”, or truly something to keep in mind as wedding “truths”.
If you don’t follow all the classic traditions, did you really even have a wedding? MYTH. Breaking away from traditions is something I am seeing more and more, and I have to say, I am here for it! I am talking about those traditions like… bouquet & garter tosses, cake cutting (face smashing), and gift registries. Bouquet and garter tosses can be very fun, but they can also be very cheesy and awkward. If you know there aren’t going to be a lot of single gals at your wedding, catching the bouquet can be a rough situation for a couple reasons, 1. you are only throwing to 2 or 3 people, and 2. you are having to drag these ladies out onto the dance floor by name because who wants to voluntarily be known as being one of the only single people at the wedding. The same reasons apply to the garter toss but add on your brand-new husband getting all up in yo’ biz in front of all your friends and family. It can be funny and a good time, but it can also be awkward and cringe worthy.
A good-sized portion of my weddings contracted this year are not cutting or serving cake. Honestly, I get it. I am not a cake person either – so much sugar and frosting. I can feel my teeth tingle just thinking about it. And much of time the cake tends to go to waste. If you feel the same way, try going a non-traditional route. Personal sized pies, milk & cookie bar, brownies & various fruit bars, root beer floats, there are so many great options! Some guests may be sad because you will always have those people who are just there for the cake, but my guess is the majority will be interested and excited to see something different.
Gift registries. This is a tough one. Older generations prefer to bring a tangible, wrapped gift to weddings, but if you and your significant other have been living together for some time there is a good chance your registry will simply be replacing old kitchen gadgets or adding to your ever growing outdoor/camping gear in a closet you open less than 5 times a year. Oh wait, is that last one just me and my husband? Whoops. But seriously, I hear all the time from couples that they don’t know what to put on their registry because they have everything they need right now. And that is okay, you shouldn’t feel like you need to fill your house with stuff just to please you guests’ need to give. Try setting up a honeymoon/adventure fund or set up a donation link to your favorite non-profit charity. Let them feel like they are still giving, just in a different way.
Now if you are thinking, HEY, but I want to do all those traditions, then by all means… you go, Glenn Coco! I am simply here to say, don’t feel like you must follow these traditions to have a great wedding. Do what feels right and represents both of you – as a newly married couple.
You need to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. MYTH. Sometimes it can even look better with odd numbers. Believe me, I am 100% an even numbered girl. 6 is my favorite number, our wedding was on the 14th (I waited an extra year to get that specific date), and not going to lie it does hurt my soul just a little that my daughter was born on the 19th (I am convinced she did it on purpose). But when it comes to choosing who to be in your bridal party, again, do what feels right. Don’t try to force friendships (or add in a second cousin twice removed) because you think you need to match the amount of people your partner wants standing next to them. These people who you have chosen to also stand at the altar should be ones who have had a significant impact in your life or added value to the relationship you are committing yourself to with those vows. They will also be in so many of your pictures, so when you look down the road in 5 years it’s nice to know that those people still have an important place in your life. And don’t be worried about the walk down the aisle thinking everyone needs to promenade two by two. I mean, what girl wouldn’t want to walk with 2 dashing gentlemen, or what guy isn’t going to jump at the chance to escort two gorgeous women down the aisle. It’s a win-win for either side. However, if you are like me and just can’t stand to not have it be even across the board, make sure to have that conversation with your partner and come to an agreement that feel right for you both!
The real stress of a wedding is thinking that you need to have it all. TRUTH. Yes, you are investing a heck of a lot of money into one grand celebration, so you want it to be perfect. I want that too! However, at the end of the day the most important thing is that you are marrying your best friend, your life partner, the person who is going to see you through all your ups and downs. That is what your guests are there for and there to celebrate. Sure, the favors, the photobooth, the games, the food, they are all icing on the cake, but the real entertainment is your wedding. Sometimes guests have the most fun either sitting at a table with mutual friends who they haven’t seen in a long time or letting it all go on the dance floor. As long as you keep the party moving and upbeat everything else will fall into place!
Now, that’s not to say don’t make your wedding unique to you and your partner, but that can be something so simple. Get your guests saying “oh my gosh, that wedding was so Chris & Sydney” as they leave the party. That is what they will remember about the day. Maybe there is a special passage or poem you want to make sure is read during the ceremony, maybe there is a special song or two that bring up memories for you and all your friends, maybe you want to break some of those traditions I talked about earlier. The important thing is not to have and do it all, but to say it again one more time for those in the back, to do what feels right and makes sense for you as a couple. Joining two lives is enough of a celebration to get everyone together, everything else is just extra!
Round number 3 of this blog series is complete. I went a little more opinionated with this one, but I felt it was important to reiterate the fact that this is YOUR wedding. Whether you want to listen to all the outside voices giving their opinion is up to you, but don’t feel like you have to do something just because someone else did it. If you would like to go back and read about the other wedding truths and myths that I have written about, click HERE for part 1. And HERE for part 2. If you ever have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me.