The Job of Your Bridesmaids
Deciding on which gal pals to ask to join you up at the altar on your big day can be a major undertaking in it of itself, but do you really know what you are asking them to do throughout the rest of the planning process? And if you do have certain expectations from them, are you communicating those clearly? When I ask brides if they (at the very least) have considered a day of coordinator, I can’t tell you how many times I have heard, “well that is what I have my bridesmaids for”. I am here today to tell you, that is not what you have your bridesmaids for – sorry to break it to you. However, there are a lot of awesome things you expect or ask of your bridal party. Let’s talk about 5 of those things!
1. Buy their own dress and shoes. You are not expected to drop hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on your bridesmaid’s dresses on top of your own dress expense. It is very acceptable to ask them to pay for their own dress and shoes. However, make sure the cost is within reason and you also are not expecting them to drop hundreds of dollars on a dress you are picking out that they will likely only wear once. If you have certain accessories you are wanting them to wear, that can be a great gift option during the rehearsal dinner or morning of the wedding day. This way they are not guessing what, if any, accessories (earrings/necklace) you want them to wear, and they have a nice memento to remember your beautiful day by.
2. Help plan and pay for the bridal shower & bachelorette party. You are not expected to plan your own bridal shower & bachelorette party. Sometimes this responsibility falls back onto the mother figures; however, traditionally it is the job of the maid of honor/bridesmaids to host these functions. They will need your help creating a guest list and will likely want your input regarding things like décor, games, date, and food, but try your best to delegate those events and just let them plan the party they are going to plan – you have enough other planning to do.
3. Help pick out the wedding dress. We have all seen ‘Yes to the Dress’ (even if you want to say you haven’t), so we know how much fun it can be to have an entourage there to give their thoughts and opinions; however, we have also seen how detrimental it can be and how out of control a bridal appointment can get. It is definitely fair to ask your maid of honor or a couple of bridesmaids to join you at the bridal boutiques as you search for that perfect dress, but I also recommend keeping that entourage to 5 people or less. There comes a point where even the friendliest of voices becomes too much.
4. Emotional support throughout the entire process. This is a big one because we all need emotional support in one way or another and friends can be great people to lean on when times are tough, when we need support, and when we just need someone to be a vent to. Honestly, what better time to take (just a little) advantage of that perk than when planning what has been called one of the most stressful events in a relationship – a wedding. These friends can also be a very useful buffer between family members that you may not want to answer questions from or when you need someone to just give your mother or mother-in-law a job to do at any point throughout the process.
5. Be there on the wedding day. Your girls are there on the big day to help with those things like holding your dress so you can pee, bustling your train so you can successfully bust a move, fixing your lipstick when it get smudging kissing your new bae, and to 100% make sure no one asks you any questions because you deserve to fully enjoy the day you have been working so hard to plan down to that very last detail.
All this to say, your bridesmaids absolutely play an important role in the wedding planning process and the day of the wedding, but do not expect them to do jobs that they are not prepared or experienced in. They are some of the most important people in your world, so they deserve to enjoy your wedding day with you – ask someone else to worry about the rest. If you want to learn more about what the job of your wedding coordinator entails check out my blog post, Invaluable A Good Wedding Coordinator Will Perform.
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