Words are powerful, but sometimes saying those words out loud and expressing yourself so deeply can be a challenge. Using The King of Rock n’ Roll as inspiration… Does it make your “hands shaky and knees weak” to think about being so vulnerable in from of so many people while reading your wedding vows? Do you feel like you “can’t even stand on your own two feet”? Well, let me tell you something buddy… according to him… you are in love!
Everybody expresses their love differently. I promise you there is a reason the book about the 5 love languages is so popular. My husband and I’s love languages are different, and it took a couple years to learn to convey our needs to each other. The first thing he told me when we got engaged is that he absolutely did NOT want to write our own vows. He is not a public speaker and a very private person, so even though I was bummed I wasn’t surprised. He shows his love to me with gestures. However, eventually, I did convince him to write 3 sentences stating what he loves about me (and vice versa), and our officiant read those as the “vows” during our ceremony. But what I want to talk about today is the trend that I am seeing more and more and wish we would have done… writing love letters to each other that are read in private (with the photographer, of course) before the ceremony. This is still a great option even if you are writing your own vows, but especially if you are not taking part in that tradition this allows you to express all those thoughts and feelings to your soon-to-be spouse without having to say & read them aloud in front of 150 people.
Every birthday, anniversary, and now Mother’s Day I get a card from my husband with the sweetest sentiments and words that tell me how much he loves me, but even now sometimes I must remind him to express those same sentiments to me verbally. So, to me, these moments – like reading a love letter before your wedding ceremony – end up being extremely special. They create emotional memories that will stay with you forever and, as an added bonus, create an opportunity for touching photos. During your ceremony, for many people, it can be difficult to feel like you are being put on the spot and verbally telling your significant other exactly how you feel, but it can be much easier to get all those thoughts out on paper – especially when you have likely written them over the course of several days or weeks. It’s like a diary or journal entry; once you start writing you probably won’t be able to stop – every moment, every feeling just let it all out on that piece of paper. Even if you have to write it two or three times to make sure that it makes sense. By writing and expressing yourself on paper you are giving your soon-to-be spouse something that they can keep forever and read over and over again. Especially in those moments when you are fighting and can’t seem to remember why you married them in the first place. (Yes, it will probably happen, and you will be able to get through it!)
Whether you read vows in front of all your family and friends or whether you write them in a letter that is read in private, when you walk down that aisle you are promising to love that person at the end of it for the rest of your life. And what better way to show them that than by putting your words down on paper and making them last forever!
If you like this article and want to learn more about how I can assist you, head on over to the services page for my packages and pricing information. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me or leave a comment below! And if you want to read about the benefits of writing your own wedding vows, head over to that blog post HERE.